Eschatology for Modern Living

New Continent Discovered!

Unfortunately, it’s made of fucking trash.

Yes, trash.

And it happens to be twice the size of the continental United States. Pictured at left is some shit they extracted from this waste mass congealing in the Pacific, which they refer to as the “Mega Sludge” or the “Pacific Plastic Soup.”

Don’t believe me? Just Google it. Or look here.

World, are you serious? How the fuck do we let this happen? Are we such assholes that we want to leave a colossal mass of shit in the Pacific for our children and our children’s children to clean up? I mean, this fucking trash mass stretches from not far off the coast of California (only 500 nautical miles), all the fucking way to the coast of Japan. It’s actually made up of two large masses connected by a weird strand of the shit which rotates around in the North Pacific Gyre (which happens to be centered around Hawaii). Chunks of this shit continent wash up on the beaches of Hawaii regularly.

This thing can’t even be seen from space because it congeals just beneath the surface of the ocean, but you can sure as hell see it from a boat drifting through the shit. What’s scary is that this mass makes up only 2.5 percent of all the plastics that have been manufactured since 1950 worldwide, and the mass is expected to double in the next ten years. About 20 percent of the waste found in the Plastic Soup is estimated to come from marine craft, and the rest comes from beaches, illegal dumping, and God only knows what else.

If this shit gets thick enough, it will start killing off all the plankton in the Pacific, and plankton happens to be the leading manufacturer of oxygen in our atmosphere, which we happen to breathe.

Do the math, assholes.

It is comforting to me that our world leaders have not said a word about this, nor has our national media, despite the fact that this ever-growing Mega Sludge was discovered in 1997. Even I only just found out about it yesterday thanks to the miracle of the internet. I’m thinking thats way too much of a lag and too much of a lack of organization for us to really do anything about it in time.

Let’s face it: we’re probably all going to die in the next fifty years. Never mind global warming. We will probably be effectively suffocated by our own waste byproducts.

Thank you, world. I hate you.


One response

  1. rdjahn

    When it comes to life, we’re all fucked. And that’s a fact.

    July 29, 2008 at 5:45 pm

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